State of Grace

For years I have been helping people with stress management. A lot of the tools that I use have been ways that I have helped myself through life’s challenges. I began my career as a science teacher in the inner city of Detroit and the first tool I added to my stress management toolbox was a sketch of a tornado that I kept in my desk drawer. It symbolized to me that if I stayed in the center, I had sanctuary in the midst of the turbulence around me and from that place I could center the chaos.

About four months ago, I began to develop thoughts around “Fear Management” as I feel fear management is at the root of stress management. Giving thought to this I began to see that a significant antidote to fear is what I would call a “state of grace”. Einstein was once asked what he thought the most important question was that you could ask another person and his response was, “Do we live in a friendly universe?” In other words is the universe or Life conspiring to support you.

I just spent a month in Jerusalem along with my sister supporting our 85 year old mother as she was combating a dreadful, rare auto immune disease. My sister had a month in the hospital with our mother before I arrived and when the doctor described the treatment which was massive doses of steroids, she asked if our mother could survive the cure. As it turns out she was unable to and recently passed away. I flew back to Jerusalem for the traditional week long period of mourning called “Shiva” in the Jewish religion and just got back home.

Throughout this whole ordeal (as it was very challenging on every level) I was able to see the “state of grace” playing out against the backdrop of the medical challenges. I would define the “state of grace” as a synchronous event or circumstance that is very comforting and can support you in a breakthrough.

Sometimes you have to dig below the surface to see it. As an example, on the way home from the airport, my wife was driving through a construction zone and, in the dark of night, did not notice the reduced speed signs. This resulted in a speeding ticket and a 15 minute delay. This certainly did not look like the state of grace. Our next stop however was the grocery store. The parking spot was congested and the spot she found was right next to very kind friends of ours who were just about to pull out. If we had not been delayed we would have missed them and their compassion was very useful for me to transition back to my life here at home.

Perhaps as you face your current challenges, looking for the state of grace may be helpful to you. I am finding that it can help me be empowered instead of victimized and can help me replace resentment with gratitude. All the best, David

Copyright © David Pasikov 2009

13 thoughts on “State of Grace”

  1. dear david…welcome to the world of blogging…i miss you already…and i couldn’t have gotten through the last few months without you…without your stress management…and without your state of grace…you are brilliant…and i am not prejudiced at all at all…shabbat shalom…love from jerusalem…love you the same…marallyn

  2. Hello David. Welcome to blogworld. More about your work and thoughts please! You are most welcome to visit me at Psychotherapy in Dublin. All the best. Yours Aye.

  3. Dear David … I look forward to following your blog. So glad to have another medium in which to keep in touch! Loves from Houston. PE

  4. David,

    I have mixed emotions, first hearing of the passing of your mother and then hearing of your commitment to your granddaughter. You were a devoted son and now you are a devoted grandfather. I.m not much into blogs myself as the name sounds like a creature who lives in a swamp. All is well in Bayfield. Come visit. I am dealing with some health issues but that is for another day. Love to Annie. Go Nuggets.

    Only the best,


  5. David, sorry to hear about your mother from the post above. Thanks for including me in the announcement about your blog. I look forward to following. Are you on Facebook? Karen

  6. hey David – I love hearing that you are going below the surface – years ago when my cat Malia was dying – she had been my companion for many years – so it was very painful – but it was a very beautiful experience to consciously feel everything – one of the most Divine times I ever had – felt closer to God and just knew that I had to go through it and love the pain – deeper still – welcome the opportunity to transform and feel – I love it ! and may your Mother be at peace on her journey back home – all my love MA

  7. Hi David,
    Nice message about the State of Grace, thank you. My condolences on the passing of your mother. Hi to Annie. Many Blessings.

  8. Hi David,
    So glad to hear that you’re back safe and that you were able to assist your Mom and sister in this intense process.
    I always look forward to the jewels you pull from the challenges you face.
    Love to you,

  9. Hi David,
    Although I was saddened to hear of your mother’s passing, I am happy you and your sister were there for her to help her through to the other side.
    I look forward to reading more and was delighted when Katherine forwarded me the link to your blog. Maia has so much to look forward to!
    Peace and daisies,

  10. Dear David,
    Thank you for including me in your blog. My heart is with you on the passing of your mom – however prepared one thinks they are for that, we’re not. I can remember the feeling of being in the illusion – seeing my life as a movie after my mom passed – powerful, spiritual knowing. How precious – the gift of a book of your life to your granddaughter- your words are a State of Grace Love to you and Annie, Susan

  11. Dear David,
    Sending our love to you and your family at this time of great loss.
    May the state of grace be with you and yours as you continue to be
    a source of inspiration to all you know.
    Our Love,
    Lovey and Alberto

  12. Dear David,
    Came here via Marallyn’s blog.
    So sorry to learn about your dear mother’s untimely passing and the pain she suffered in her last months. May she be at peace now with Hashem looking out for her, as she looked out for you and your sister.
    BTW, your sister is a very special person…but I think you already knew that, didn’t you?
    May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Yerushalayim.

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